Monday, October 6, 2014

Demons - Weston, MA

There in the woods (look next to the biggest trunk, to the right) is a real, live DEMON

I am asked a lot about whether or not security was the reason for moving from São Paulo to the US. It was definitely a factor - I got tired of driving a bulletproof car and watching my back - but it was not even in the top five reasons for repatriating. That being said, I do love the feeling of not having to be watchful all the time. I have so little clue what is going on around me during a walk through the neighborhood that a neighbor with a Prius has several times had to practically hit me in the butt to get me out of the way. Silent cars, non-vigilant walker. 

Today I had coffee with a Brazilian with twin boys. No, it wasn't BH (Brazilian husband).  I had heard of a Brazilian family with twin boys in the middle school and I chased the wife down (not with a Prius) and we met to chat in English and Portuguese about life here, there and everything in between. I asked her how she was keeping up her boys' Portuguese and she said that she had been taking them to Portuguese classes at the Brazilian-American center until it got too scary to drive at night.

Me, conditioned after six years in São Paulo, gasped and said "why? what happens?" thinking of gangs or hit-and-runs or whatever, wondering if I had sold my bulletproof car too fast.  And my new friend said (in Portuguese): "there are a lot of DEER here."  

Now I have to back up for a second and also mention that the word in Portuguese for deer ("veado") sounds a lot like the slang word for gay people ("viado") and I was wondering how I was going to break off a new friendship with a person who did not like gays...and then I realized she meant fuzzy four-legged DEER. 

Apparently the DEER (they are scary enough to capitalize) jump out in front of your car--purposefully--and ask you for your wallet. No. That's not it. They commit suicide into your headlights, according to my new friend. And she told me that I had to look it up but apparently I have moved into the world capital of DEMON DEER. Suicide bombers into your car's grill. Causing thousands of dollars of damage and countless accidents.

Note that so far I have found no internet research to back up the DD world capital claim but I'm going to the library (slowly and with eyes peeled!) this afternoon to see if they can help me with the research on this.  Until then, I am not driving at night. And not just because I haven't updated my eyeglass prescription in 10 years.  Beware the DEMON DEER.

That's all from exurbia.


  1. I snorted loudly at the first DEER!
    But she's right...a deer at night jumping on/in front of your car can be a horrible experience...they get scared by the lights, of course and they are a whole lot bigger than a rabbit!. A friend in Scotland (gracas a deus, still part of the UK) has written off one car and severely damaged another because of UFD (unidentified fleeing deer). Mostly the deer flee off into the night, and you are left with more than a dent in your bonnet, in both senses of the word.
    Miss your 'reading mommie' posts and your acerbic observations of Brit vs American English ;-)
    From your Scottish friend in Sampa xxx

  2. Aw. You tricked me! I though perhaps you found evidence of some satanic cult in the backwoods of Boston. Not cute, fuzzy deer...