Stick this in your orifice - Weston, MA

Instructions on the top of the GIANT recycling bin

Anyone who knows me personally knows that I am not a do-it-yourselfer. I have nothing but the greatest respect (but not envy) for those who can build treehouses from toothpicks and recycled farmhouse wood or keep orchids alive for longer than the evening of their arrival in their house, sew evening dresses out of curtains, that kind of stuff. I just can't do it. I "have people for that". Yes, I am willing to pay. 

Here is an example of this. We have arrived in this sweet town of 11,000 people outside of Boston and there is no central garbage collection service. Say what? We had garbage collection three times a week outside our door in São Paulo. But here, with no knowledge of what to do, we allowed garbage to pile up in the garage for a week until I was saved by two fortuitous moments: 1. I asked a neighbor what she did with her garbage (answer: self-haul to the dump) and 2. A coupon arrived from a company called "Orifice" for garbage/recycling collection for $55/month.  Let's go at this is the proper order:

Town dump. Let me get this straight. I need to pile up a week or two of stinky garbage including lobster husks and chicken bits, then chuck it into my trusty car and haul it over to the town dump. Wait, not so fast...you also need a car-specific pass that allows you to dump there. Yes, I found out about it at the town hall--I had to show my purchase and sale agreement for my house in order to get the coveted pass. I passed on the pass. I have neither a permanent car nor do I enjoy the smell of garbage in the morning, or any other time of the day. Yes, I am probably missing out on some social hour over diaper genies but I'm going to have to survive. I'd rather join the Weston Women's Club or whatever. 

Garbology. Ah, the serendipitous arrival of a coupon from Orifice Recycling and Refuse. Just the name made me smile. Not to mention the fact that the brochure stated that this was a "garbologist since 1985." Yes, the owner of this company has been in garbology since I was in high school. I do not know if he truly holds a degree in such a field, but I have decided not to annoy him by asking. Anything but go to the town dump. Anything.

This morning I silently cheered when the giant green garbage truck piled boxes and bags and recycling and everything into its maw, and left two enormous wheeled bins behind for me to practice my own style of garbology. I feel clean. 

One small step.